Pat-Boone

Nemesis

Being a long lived and adventurous character, Dr Zaus had several nemeses.  The most notable of these being Pat Boone, the American singer and actor.  Unfortunately, we don’t know the reasons why.

It all came to light when myself and several other clerics were settling down to watch ‘Journey to the Centre of The Earth’, the 1959 film based upon the novel by Jules Verne (see further postings regarding Jules Verne).  The good Doctor had come to visit, and, as it was a special occasion, brought us a box of truffles to enjoy during the matinée.  Not having seen the film previously (and being a close friend of M. Verne), he decided to join us and pulled up an armchair to watch.  It must be pointed out at this occasion the armchair had not been seen in our current location by myself or any of the other clerics in the room.  This aside, we blew out the candles and settled into the film.

Mere moments later, when Pat Boone in the role of Alec McEwan came on screen, Dr Zaus sat upright and rigid in his chair, his whiskers quivering with unrepentant fury, truffles thrown to the wind, eyes blazing with the very fires of heaven itself.  He leapt from his seat with a preternatural speed, shook his fist at the screen and roared ‘Damn you Pat Boone’.  Our ears bled and he forbade us from ever watching the film again. In later years, a couple of the clerics with me on that fateful day, accidently saw several seconds of the movie when Rumbelows first introduced video recorders.  They spontaneously combusted right there and then in front of horrified shoppers and sales assistants on Wolverhampton High Street.

As previously stated, we do not know the reasons behind this animosity, and I suppose we never will.  Dr Zaus was a complex character and kept many records that will take an eternity to study.  On a lighter note, this incident is believed to be part of the inspiration behind the song ‘Della and the Dealer’ by Hoyt Axton.  If you will remember the tale, there was Della and the Dealer and a dog named Jake and a cat named Kalamazoo, who, by their actions, had to leave Tucson in a pick up truck and a chap named Randy Boone is murdered.  For a time when the good Doctor was conducting anthropological studies in ‘The Colonies’, he went under the pseudonym of Dr Kalamzoo, as he felt locals would be more forthcoming if he had a familiar sounding name.  Please bear in mind this was during the early ’70′s in the Southern and Bible Belt states of America.

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